|
|
Cedars Unitarian Universalist Church
A Welcoming
Congregation
|
|
|
Pastoral Care Team
The Pastoral Care Team's Memorial Service Guide is now available for download
Living Alone Need Not Equate to Loneliness
I recently read an article by Kerby Anderson in which he claimed that “Baby Boomers” are headed for a crisis of loneliness because of both demographics and social isolation. In the 1950s only about 1 in 10 households were headed by one person, mostly widows. Today, due to the three “Ds” (death, divorce, and deferred marriages) about one in four households are solos.” He claims “if current trends continue sociologists predict that the ratio will increase to one in three early in this century.”
The “Boomers” not only marry less frequently but also later. Many, like me, decide not to marry at all. Thomas Exter, writing in American Demographics predicts that “the most dramatic growth in single-person households should occur among those aged 45-64 as baby boomers become middle aged.”
As a person who has always lived alone, it amazes me how negative the tone of these kinds of articles make this prospect seem. It’s like the authors begin with the premise that living alone always results in loneliness. Needless to say, loneliness is no respecter of persons married or single and it can come to everyone sooner or later. It cuts across all ages and, if serious enough, can even lead to depression and possibly suicide.
Loneliness has been defined as “the painful awareness that we lack meaningful contact with others.” Solitude and loneliness is not the same thing. Solitude is a choice; for many a time for introspection and renewal, whereas loneliness is the painful experience of wanting to be with others but not being able to. And it’s not always the absence of other people but rather the lack of a relationship with them.
Studies have shown that loneliness can double a person’s chances of catching cold and that lonely people are four times more likely to suffer a heart attack and, if so, they are four times more likely to die from it. Imagine? Apparently the cure for the common cold is keeping socially engaged especially if you have been through a traumatic event.
It’s very common and quite human to suffer from anxiety and depression when confronted with a death or a divorce. However, negative self-perception has been found to be one of the biggest causes of loneliness. You can do something about that and here are a couple suggestions: · Don’t wait for others. Make the first move. Reach out and take the initiative. · Set goals and have some purpose in your life. · Join with others in a project or an organization that interest you. · Visit and help others less fortunate in nursing homes, schools or hospitals.
In our rapidly changing culture, there are real reasons why people may be feeling lonely. We all need three basic things in life: 1. A relationship with our Creator 2. A need to love and be loved in a personal intimate way 3. A need to feel worthwhile; to have a purpose and a sense that our existence is meaningful.
Take charge of your life before depression and loneliness overtakes you. Loneliness is curable.
If you would like to talk with a member of the Pastoral Care Team, please call one of the team members below.
— Donna Moore, for the Pastoral Care Team
The mission of your Pastoral Care Team is to cherish and care for members of our congregation in times of need. We sometimes listen. We also arrange temporary care such as meals or transportation and make connections with community resources. Please contact one of us if you are in need of our services. Diana Peters, chair Committee Members:
John Peck |
|
Send e-mail to
Webmeister with questions or
comments about this website.
|
